Interview given to the extinct website "Cambio de Boys"
MARKET & CAREER
What is your opinion about the current male escort market in Brazil?
I’ll talk about the market I know: the boys from the companions websites. We have many options, but little quality. The client who has a date with an escort, meets another one and compares the services. And I often hear from these clients poor comments about the service of many of these boys, even bad things, such as poor service, lack of ethics of some professionals, lack of willingness, lack of education, and especially about the bad way in which the client is treated. Surprising as it may seem, for the vast majority of clients it is not the size of the dick that matters, but the agreement that has been made, if the escort is really giving his best on that date. Other cases say that the service is very mechanical. They say the boys talk about doing something, but they don’t do it. They charge a previous amount, but in person charge another one. Other boys want to charge more for kissing, or to do either this or that. Apart from the huge lack of ethics of some who do not understand that if the client wants to meet him again, they will look for him. That means, he does not need to send them messages or call them asking for money to pay rent or any other sad story made up to impress the client. I have listened to other accounts of clients who have been extorted. Clients who have felt disrespected meeting a "professional" out of their "normal state", among many other things ... Unfortunately, these "professionals" traumatize clients, and they start to think that all the boys and girls are the same, so they are afraid to risk again. This denigrates the image of those who work correctly, and everything becomes a doubt in the mind of the client. More and more the client thinks twice before trying again. After all, nobody wants to throw money away, paying a good amount of money for a guy who acts like he's doing the client a favor. But like any activity, there are always rotten apples, which we cannot generalize. It is up to the client to feel better about the escort who they want to meet before being trapped. And it's up to the escort to worry about it, otherwise his career will all go down the drain.
How do you manage your career?
Ricardo Abbas is my company. I worry about how I’m going to work, personal hygiene, cleaning of the environment, what I'm going to wear, how I'm going to introduce myself, what content I'm going to present to my clientele. Some people think that I have a lot of time in the business because of the many photo essays I have, when in fact I do a new essay every three months. I think it is important for the client to know how I am currently. A lot of boys have a photo essay once a year, so then when the boy meets the client, they do not even recognize the professional because he is very different from the pictures. I care about my image, what people say about my company. I learn from my successes and mistakes; I treat my clients in a unique way. After all, they are the ones who provide me with the revenue to my company. I have never been unpleasant with anyone, and when I do not agree with something or cannot do a specific service, I prefer to say that I cannot do it, rather than say yes and in the end they feel cheated. And, of course, the client is not always right, but feedback is always accepted. Good treatment and respect must exist on both sides. So, I try to do my job in the best way possible, and when the client comes back, it is a sign that they liked my work, and everything went well.
Do you travel for seasons? How often? How do you plan your trips?
Yes, I've traveled to some capitals, always with short seasons, because I have my portfolio of loyal clients in São Paulo, so I cannot leave them aside for long. I have already been to Brasilia, Rio de Janeiro, Belo Horizonte, Recife, Natal and Fortaleza, and I intend to return, because I have been very welcomed by all these people from these capitals. And I want to go to other places that I have not been to yet, such as Porto Alegre, Balneário, Curitiba and Salvador.
What are the requirements to be a good professional in this field? What would you say to someone who is starting?
I suggest getting to know yourself first, get to know your limits and get your head together. If you're just desperate for money, but you don’t like people or what you will do, don’t do that, you can destroy yourself. If drugs are already a problem for you, deal with it first, because problems with drugs are easily maximized in this field. And bear in mind that only 5% of the people in this industry actually make money, and the others just get by another day, or simply get lost in drugs and in the illusion of endless opportunities. Exposing and risking so much of your life to have a salary just enough to survive is not worth it. It is better if you work on anything else, which is safer. Be aware that, like everything else in life, there is a beginning, middle and end ... Be patient, respect your clients, take care of your appearance, take care of your body, your face, your health. Having discretion and ethics is essential... Common sense never hurts. Having a little culture is good because the client does not always want a company for sex. And not least, enjoy sex (lol).
With the boom of blogs of ratings and gossip about the escort world there is excessive exposure between personal and professional life. How do you deal with it?
I find it very natural and inevitable that being a figure that exposes himself publicly in sites of the escort field, there are many people who sympathize with me and others who dislike me. What I don’t agree with is that they think that the internet is nobody's land; first thing is to say that nobody cares about what they say. And the other is forgetting that we are all responsible for what we publish, and even for the anonymous ones, there are laws and technology that prevent anyone from writing what they want and attack the honor of others without having to prove it. In April last year, a good evaluation of my service was published on the “Cambio de Boys” website (for the ones who don’t know it, it was a website that received client reviews, where the client reported the experience he had with the professionals) and a series of reviews and reports from clients speaking well about my service were also triggered, and this has generated discomfort for some "co-workers" from the same websites where I announce. Out of nowhere, there were comments coming from "anonymous" people pretending to be clients badmouthing my image with my future clients. Shortly after, I discovered that there were 3 competitors bothered with my work. One of them, even tried to copy an essay where I am dressed in Arabic clothes riding a horse. At the beginning of 2017, Cambio de Boys went down, the justification given was that the escorts themselves complained for "denigrating their image" claiming they were feeling harmed, because they did a bad job, and when they were denounced for poor service on this site, they would lose many dates because clients who read their negative reviews would not call them. The site worked as a CONSUMER COMPLAINT SERVICE. Surely the ones who had nothing to fear because they worked right, had no problem with the disclosure of the reviews ... However, the ones who were not doing their job right felt uncomfortable and did everything for the website to go down. So, like every commercial and competitive area, we have people with character, who are ethical and friendly, while others not. The client must distinguish from what is true or not. Be sure of what is clear or if it is just a fuss in this busy market. After all, many people have no scruples when it comes to money.
People keep in mind that the escort in general leads an easy life. How do you interpret this statement? What are the positive and negative sides of being an escort?
It's not easy! Every day I need to feel good psychologically because I deal with people that I never know who they are. Sometimes I need to assume another identity because it is the client's fetish, go through embarrassing situations like the lack of hygiene of some clients, be very careful about the way to say it or make the person realize it. We deal with pranks, curious people who don’t want anything, immature people who have nothing to do and keep in touch all day long via whatsapp to ask for photos and videos for the simple reason of having the photos on their cell phone or masturbating seeing photos and videos, without the slightest intention of hiring you. There are people who call at night wanting to have sex on the phone, they have never been with the escort, but they think he has an obligation to chat with them, when we know that the professional only earns when the client actually hires the escort. Knowing who might be a potential client and who might not… that’s complicated! So, you need to have a lot of patience and resilience. The professional must always be in the region where he/she works, because we never know when the phone will ring. There is not much social life, as the peak demand is at night during the week, weekends and holidays. And another negative point is that there is still a great prejudice because people understand that prostitution is just sex for money, and that's how we were taught since we were kids, but how many of us know people, or we ourselves have already sold ourselves for a job promotion, a social status, a material good, a position in the company. How many women we know who stay with their husbands, and often live unhappy years in exchange for comfort, an allowance, luxury, some affection, among other things. But in the eyes of the society this is not prostitution because we were taught prostitution is just having sex for money. This is a good prostitution, and it is not even considered prostitution, but I could never sleep and wake up with a person I do not like, live for years beside a person I do not love, just for money or comfort. I sell hours of my day, just like any employee sells 8, 10, 12 hours of their day, for a salary, but for the rest of their time that employee has their life and do what they want. I sell a few hours of my day, but my character and my desires are not for sale. And the good point, of course, is the financial part, which was the reason I went in, and I believe all the other boys too, but besides the money and the things I can do today, this activity has brought me a lot on the human side. I have learned to make a person feel good just by making them feel special, desired. And many cases, just being heard.
CLIENTS
What is the most absurd proposal made by a client?
I think that when it comes to sex, there's nothing that sounds absurd as long as it's agreed and good on both sides. But I remember a call from a client who wanted to torture me, rent a motel room where he would take all the props of domination and wanted me to be his "slave," a term widely used for Sadomasochism, where he would use a whip, handcuffs, etc. He would tie me up and wanted me to let him do whatever he wanted. Of course, I did not accept, because I don’t like losing control and then I even joked and said that I could be his "master". But he did not accept it, obviously! Everything is funny as long as it happens to the other ... (lol)
What is the most difficult service you have done? The one where the client has become inconvenient?
Difficult to mention one, because some are difficult in some points, and others, the person is difficult to deal with. I've always worked with people, so I have a wide experience and patience to deal with adverse situations. I can assure you I've never been rude to anyone. Education and respect, in any relationship either professional or personal, should always exist. But I have a hard time dealing with people who think that because they are paying for the service they can belittle, distract or think we are machines. There was a client, for example, who came up with a script of the positions he wanted to make, and when we would switch to another position, he would say, "Now I want doggy style, then we make missionary, very rough, then I want ..." I stopped everything! It's a real turn-off, the person thinks you are robot with a boner ... lol
I think it's great to know the preferences of my client, I even ask about this when we are talking at the first moment, the way they like it, what they like, if they want something special, etc. Now, when the client is aware that on the other side there is another person who, no matter how professional, needs this interaction and that sex is about 2 people and not 1, it flows better!
Do you have any requirements when choosing a client?
Education, respect and hygiene are key factors in the date. Regarding the profile I do not distinguish between my clients, stature, color, physical type, any special need, age, preferences, ethnicity and labels. This is no reason for me to choose. I do not discriminate anyone. And I never expect anything, not to generate expectations, and when it flows better than I expected, I'm even more satisfied.
What kinds of clients do you not accept?
I have already dismissed arrogant, cocky and disrespectful clients. Rude people and people who treat others as if they were objects do not go further than the first call or chat on whatsapp with me. At the first contact, they give up on me or I give up on them. I have worked in the commercial area for many years with people of all classes and regardless of the service they did in the companies I respected them and treated them equally. From the lady responsible for the coffee to my superintendent the treatment was the same. They are people, it’s not the job or how much they earn that will make me be unpleasant or cocky with anyone. Another thing I don’t like is when someone is comparing prices saying that they paid a certain amount to another boy. I think that if this client thinks that all the boys should charge the same amount, then they see the professional as if he were just another boy or object. They think that all the escorts work in the same way so they should charge the same fee, when we know it is not true. Some treat the client as a piece of trash, others are just correct, and others surprise the client in a positive way. The client has the power to choose. My service is not the same as anyone's, just as theirs are not the same as mine. I charge the average that everyone charges, but I'm not on sale and I don’t even think I’m a product you can find on sale. I offer a client a service and not a piece of clothing, a mobile that varies the price. There are boys that accept any amount of money but also offer any service to the client. But for the clients who think this way, quality care is no longer important, since it is the cost that they are worried about.
What are the most common profiles and reasons of the clients who seek male escorts?
Most of the clients who come to us are men married to women (aged 25-45 years old, on average), they are almost always men who have their heterosexual lives defined, but who also feel attraction for other men, and want to do the opposite of what they do with their wives, which means, they want to bottom! It is quite normal that they look for us in terms of secrecy, for the ethics of knowing that after our date there will be no afterwards. I won’t be calling them, and if they come back, alright; if they don’t, that’s all. The explanation is simple, they don’t want to expose themselves on the street, in shopping malls, saunas, or in applications. They don’t want to risk meeting another man and end up risking their marriage, so that’s why they prefer to meet a professional, to avoid creating bonds and receiving calls at a time they are with their partners. After them we have 3 category groups; Gay men who want to have sex whenever they can, choosing the profile they like, including young boys who want to have their first experience; and in some cases, men who top for their boyfriends, so when they look for me, they want to bottom. Followed by women who like sex, are independent, like to feel wanted, sometimes the husband can’t give what they want, and others know that when hiring an escort, they do not need to play games, romance, meet expectations, etc. In short, convenience. And I also meet several heterosexual couples in which the man wants to see his wife having sex to another guy. However, it has also happened cases where the man wants to have sex with another guy and tells her about it; she thinks over the idea and accepts it. And others where the woman wants to have a double penetration, have 2 men at the same time, etc. Many people believe that "fitting in" is more important than pursuing personal happiness. Many clients have many repressed feelings and desires. Many clients bring primordial sexual experiences that they need to experience and feelings they have never spoken to anyone. Having this in mind, the saying "Behind closed doors, everything is possible" makes a lot of sense. The big problem of this taboo is the society and the narrow-minded vision of some partners, if there were not so many rules of what is right and wrong or immoral, we wouldn’t hide anything, and we would live much better.
Have you ever had any chemistry beyond the professional role between you and a client? How did you deal with the situation?
Yes, I have! It often happens. I love sex, I always did, and when it comes to good chemistry, it’s even better. When there is no chemistry, I try to do the right thing, I do my best and focus on my job, which is to satisfy the client. There is a commercial agreement there, but where is the turning point when it becomes something more personal? I still haven’t found it. I think chemistry is not determined by physical type or beauty. So many times, we have already had sex with people who had everything to be "the best fuck ever", and it was far from that, and with others, we don’t expect anything and it works pretty well. Chemistry is all about feelings, smell, connection and a game of seduction. And when that happens, I mix business with pleasure and have a lot of fun too.
Has there ever been a strange, unusual or funny situation during the date?
Oh, many! I'll tell you two of them. The client called me, told me to be in a famous bakery near Avenida Paulista at a certain time, I would arrive first, ask for something to drink, then he would come in and pass me by, he would look at me and would go to the restroom, then I would go right after him. Everything happened exactly like this and we had sex at the bakery restroom. The adrenaline of being caught was the climax of that date. We came while I was fucking him and only when we were already washing ours hands, a security guy came in, but didn’t suspect of anything. Another situation happened with a client, in which she called me telling me that she was leaving a meeting at around 1 pm, I passed in front of her company, I picked her up, and she sucked me while I drove her to a deserted street. It was her fetish to have sex on the street, so I found a quieter street, where there was a big tree occupying almost the side of a whole sidewalk, I pressed her there, and we had another amazing adrenaline-pumping experience there.
How do you take care of your appearance?
I have always been very vain, but after I started working with sex, I understood that the first impression people would have about me would be from my body, face, clothing, and health. So, I began to care even more about my eating habits, take care of my body and be updated with the circuit of escorts that today I am a part of. I like to be always well dressed, with good perfume, trimmed beard, good breath. I worry about sleep and hangovers, because to meet my client I need to feel good not only physically but also visually and psychologically.
Curiosities and Personal Life
How did you start and what were your reasons for becoming an escort?
I used to work in the commercial area and had never thought about it. The company was undergoing restructuring problems and our department that once paid a salary, bonuses and commissions was only paying the salary. One of my employees resigned, saying he was going to work at a mall. After 2 months I found him in a pub, and that's when he talked about what he was really working on. I felt surprised, but I understood and respected. We kept in touch, 4 months went by and the company continued with the same problem, my debts increasing every month, because my cost of living was higher than my earnings. Unpaid rent, not studying anymore and late college payment, name under financial restrictions, and the most difficult moment was when a person in my first-degree family had a very serious health problem; my hands were tied financially, and I was not able to help. I looked for other job opportunities in the next 4 months, but in the area that I was working all the companies worked with the same salary range, so it wouldn’t work, and I needed the money immediately. So, I decided to get in touch with my ex-employee asking for help, but he was not very receptive to the idea. Then I met a girl who worked in this market and she helped me get in touch with the heads of the sites "Garotos" and "Garotolândia", because I did not even know that this method of advertisement existed. And the support they gave me was crucial to make me understand a little about this world. No one enters this market for anything other than money. The reason I came in was one, and the reason I'm here today is different. In this way I have drawn a goal and an objective that I want to accomplish in a certain projected time, and I am focused on it.
How was your first professional experience as an escort?
It was strained before arriving at the hotel and while having sex. Being the first experience, a lot of things go through your mind. I had always enjoyed sex, but to have sex with someone I didn’t know, at the time, made me tense, afraid to fail, afraid of not getting a boner, or the client realize that it was my first time. While having sex I was nervous, shaking. So, without thinking much, I focused on what I had already learned in my private sex life, some tips given by my former employee and put into practice. Everything went right, when the client came, I thought; "-Wow! Ricardo, you got it!” (LOL)
What really turns you on about sex (foreplay, games, penetration, domination)?
Like every man, during foreplay I really like to receive a good blow job, to see the person drooling and smiling, showing that they are enjoying it. Eye contact and see the pleasure in the person's eyes is so good. And kissing, when everything starts, is important too; sometimes the kiss is not that good, but when it is, everything gets even better. Domination, chemistry, and penetration go together, that's what I call "punch", you either have it or not. Come on strong or don’t even come… LOL
How can you keep a relationship along with your professional life?
A relationship is not a priority for me at the moment. At least, for now. We never know what might happen in 1 hour, but like everything else in life, we need to have a focus, and I came into this market with a purpose and I want to leave this job when my goal is accomplished. I am fully aware that this is a fast-paced career like that of a football player or a model. You have to make the most while you are at your best, design your future and then move on with your life. And just like any other job, the more professional success we have the less personal life we have as well. There are many men who work for 5 or 10 years in a row without seeing their children grow up, barely satisfying their wives as husbands, working every day, sometimes 10, 12, 15 hours a day for a greater good, comfort, security for the same family. So I decided to take this "break" in my personal life and then when Ricardo Abbas no longer exists, I will probably want to build a relationship. But sex workers usually get involved with someone from the same area. It is easier to understand each other, but there is a very big conflict. Imagine: Saturday night, you are with your partner, lying down, curled up watching a movie, then the phone rings; if you meet the client you make it clear to the person who is beside you that your work is more important than your relationship, and if you stay there you postpone your goal in this activity. The phone rings at the most improbable and improper times and the client doesn’t want to wait for you to do what you're doing. If you are not available, they call another one and that's it. I have friends who experience these conflicts, there is jealousy, possession and conflicts of rights and duties. If a common relationship is already difficult to keep, imagine an unusual relationship like this. Do you want to have peace in a loving relationship and a regular social life? Do not work with it! (lol)
Quick-fire Questions
A food? Hard to name just one ... Brazilian! I like Italian, Mexican and Japanese food, but there’s nothing better than the Brazilian food.
A dream? Me, you, 2 kids and 5 dogs in a house with a pool and a very large garden.
An actor? Anthony Hopkins
An actress? Angelina Jolie, not because of her beauty but because of her interpretation and the characters she chooses to perform.
A male singer? Cazuza
A female singer? Maria Bethâni
A film? The Devil Wears Prada, not only because of its humor, but there are several messages about life, focus and purpose, labor market, that no one is irreplaceable, quick replacements in the competitive market, tolerance, loneliness, choices, and values in the life of that character. I think it’s an incredible and very realistic film.
A book? The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho
One place? My mother's house
Who inspires you? I am always interested in stories of people who have succeeded through their work using intelligence and having focus and without losing the honesty and humbleness even being at the top. I have recently read the biography of Mark Zuckerberg and I think it is fantastic.
If you were given the power to bring someone from the dead, who would you bring back? A great friend I lost some time ago. He had a lot of love for life, the kind of person who would come in one place and would make everyone laugh.
And the opposite, who would you send to the other side? 99% of Brazilian politicians.
Religion? I'm a Christian. In every religion there are several things that I believe, and "rules" created for the religion that I do not agree or find no answers to. Some more and some less, in short, I believe in God, in the force of nature. I have faith and I think we all have a purpose on earth and in each reincarnation, we have a reason to feed our soul.
Tell us… what is love? There is a phrase from Marianne Williamson that defines, in my opinion, love; "To love is giving without remembering. Receiving without forgetting”. I think that's it; you love when you're able to give yourself with no expectations of return or reward.
What about hate? Hatred is the revenge of a coward. Nobody hates someone they do not know. If you hate someone, it's because you hate something about them that disturbs you or what they did or even a part of yourself. What doesn’t belong to us doesn’t bother us. And if it doesn’t bother us anymore, we let life take care of it and do it justice.
A phrase?
"Do not be content to tread an established path. Instead, go where there is no path and leave your trail”. Johnnie Walker